December 2005

So I got to spend the day with my nine year-old cousin Christian. They assured me he wasn’t named after me. I think I am changing my name.

It wasn’t too bad after I wrestled the stockpile of rubberbands away from him and convinced him that he didn’t need to be in my personal space all the time. After that we had a pretty good time. We went shoe shopping and I purchased my first pair or non-Nike’s in about 13 years. He got some cool black tennies too.

Hating the 80 degree weather out here. cg

Close your eyes and picture this…actually, read this and then close your eyes…but don’t do either while operating machinery or driving a vehicle.

Crossing New Mexico on I-40 at 80 miles per hour in my father’s rap-mogul-wannabe Cadillac Escalade, I was listening to Houston Marchman on the Cross Country Channel on XM. The heated plush leather seats are gently soothing my back as the cool drink rests patiently, faithfully by my side. This is absolutely how long trips are supposed to be made.

Suddenly, a burst of laughter echoes from the backseat where my parents are watching comedy DVD’s.

I look around and nothing seems funny. I veer into the other lane peering back at them and they are smiling from wireless headphone to headphone. I cannot hear the DVD.

I regain control of the vehicle, my bladder, and the cold drink only to be restartled (hey I can make up words, damn-it., because I taught English for five years)by a second fit of ear-shattering laughter.

At this point I realize that the men with white suits are waiting up ahead somewhere and the calming sensation returns.

I heard the weather back there in Kansas is nice but nothing like AZ in the winter. Played a round of golf today under partly cloudy, 78 degree weather skies with my father and grandfather today. Needless to say the golf was bad but it didn’t matter.

I am not sure if AT remembers or not but I still have his Shure EC3 noise cancelling ear phones and I must say I am a believer. After 16 hours with my Mom, Dad, and dog brother Max in the car ride out here, I cannot say enough about these magnificent inventions. Somewhere along the way the mystique of family vacations has worn off. More to come on this topic.

Merry Christmas or happy whatever it is you believe in. cg

I’m glad I don’t work at Wal Mart
I went to buy groceries today
Dumb move
Every Jim and Sally was taking his and her matching-overpriced-bullshit-with-a-bow-on-it Christmas presents back to try and convince the retail giant that it should essentially buy back the merchandise, effectively paying for the mistakes made in haste. Let me tell you something, people. When you take something back to Wal Mart, they don’t repackage it and put it back on the shelves. Don’t try to justify your despicable act of returning goods by thinking to yourself that somehow someone will put your item to good use. It doesn’t happen. Most of the time, it gets thrown on a pallet, loaded in a truck, and sent to some bulk transfer station. It’s cheaper than trying to resell it.

You know, it was Wal Mart that solidified the horrible idea of a warranty in today’s society. If Wal Mart wouldn’t have led everyone on the planet to believe that they have no responsibility when they make purchases, the concept of as-is wouldn’t be so hard for the American public to understand. Now that I think of it, perhaps the whole problem is Wal Mart’s fault. Perhaps everyone should buy three of everything they want, open everything, and take two back and say they’re the wrong size, they don’t fit, they’re the wrong color to match your bloody flowers, and the batteries weren’t included. Maybe then Wal Mart would stop pandering to the ignorance of the public.

Merry Christmas

Everyone always told me that Christmas was about giving and not receiving. "Bullshit," I used to think. I realized as I was lying sick on the couch next to the Christmas tree, waiting for my family to open their presents, that I really didn’t care what I got this year. While I’m quite thankful for what I did get, I was far happier to see my parents and sisters get some of the things they wanted. I guess they were right, whoever they were. I think it was the media. Perhaps Hollywood. I’m sure I read it somewhere.

I don’t know what it was
Sicker than a dog today
All…night….long…..
Wayne’s sick, too…
Must have been food poisoning from somewhere

Finally got up off the couch
About 7:00pm for about 15 minutes
Back then to bed was I
To watch more poker on ESPN
Did I ever tell you how much I love sports?

Wayne and I drove to Sharon from Manhattan
Missed about five turns in Wichita and Derby
I need glasses

Made it home in time to play poker
Nothing like losing money to the old man

We had a party at the Wave tonight
Rambler’s scramblers
I’ll be home tomorrow

There is something about being back here at home that is hard to describe. People know who I am when I walk into the convenience store. People I don’t even know. I guess it always feels like my family extends far beyond the walls of my house and the houses of my friends. It is always good to be home….for a little while:)

Mason, hang in there man! You can do it!

We oughta plan to get together right after the first of the year and practice again. What do you guys say? AT, MP, DF? I have a garage in Manhattan and a place we could use in Topeka. Anyone else have any ideas?

Later, cg

I’m trying but it’s too hard.