January 2006

Rent a DVD that is too scratched and smudged to read
Get angry
Wipe it on your shirt
Try it again
Wipe it on your jeans
Try it again
Clean with Dawn and warm water
Dry with ion pump from Raytheon aircraft
Notice soap and water residue on disc
Try it again
Wash it again
While it is still wet, run to find an old CD drive in a computer running Vista somewhere
Notice drive isn’t plugged in
With computer running, hook up ribbon cable
Hook up power supply, noticing how it shuts off the computer immediately
Hit button on front of computer, noticing how little effect it has
Worry that your computer is fried
Flip switch on back of computer a few times
Hit button on front of computer, noticing how little effect it has
Turn switch on back of computer to the I position
Turn on computer by pressing button on front
Now that the DVD has dried enough to leave water residue, wet it down again
Bring it back to computer and insert it into drive
Once it spins up to speed, it has ruined your drive, but the DVD is now dry and lacks residue
DVD will now play
Repeat process with the rest of the DVDs from West Wing’s first season

What did that thing ever do to you?
Your selections are destroying my ears.
Save your money, save our pain.
Do yourself a favor and go home.
Put that dollar away and get to packing and
Leave that fucking jukebox alone.

A litte snippet of a song lyric I am working on there inspired by some people at Finn’s fine drinking establishment on Thursday. The problem with the "download and play" style of jukebox is that some people don’t have any musical sense. These two young ladies were playing all sorts of random crap. It started with some serious heavy metal Korn wannabe band and moved to a bunch of current rap.

Enter my $5.00 and so begins my revenge.

After six straight Whiskeytown songs, a Robert Johnson song, a Robert Earl Keen song, and a Cross Canadian Ragweed tune, the two jukebox offenders had cleared out. About half of the bar followed.

Leave the jukebox alone.

cg

East on I70
Junction City
Mile marker 300
Headed to Salinas, Lord
Late for a seminar
Mile marker 299
Kansas Auctioneers Association
Typing, driving
Listening to Ryan Adams
There goes Big Dogg’s
I wonder what happened to that bar
And the owners
Mile marker 298
Went to Topeka this morning to meet with the big guns at the Kansas Highway Patrol
I think he could tell I was a little under the weather
I’m starting to feel better now
Mile marker 295

There is nothing sexier than a woman
Who is tring to make a case
No matter how wrong
About politics

I like Republicans, remember?

Jukebox on My Grave

When I’m gone…on my judgment day
Would you please put a jukebox on my grave
I don’t need no headstone, no cold tears
Just a jukebox to say a ‘music man lays here’

All my friends will drop on by
And drop a quarter down and hear Robert Johnson cry
A flood of memories coming wave by wave
Carried by the voice in the jukebox on my grave
Carried by the voice in the jukebox on my grave

Some Hank Williams, some George Jones
Some Dylan…Beatles…a few from the RollingStones
Joni Mitchell, Marvin Gaye
Johnny Cash, who’s risen from the ashes on my grave
That’s Johnny Cash singing ‘ring of fire’ on my grave

When I’m gone, on my judgment day
Put a quarter in the jukebox on my grave
I got no headstone claiming I was brave
Just a jukebox singing the songs upon my grave
Just a jukebox singing the songs upon my grave

Raquetball. This game is amazing. I was an avid player in college the first time around and have picked it back up. Wow. My not-so-athletic-but-surprisingly-quick-for-my-size self can hang with fast skinny guys on the rb court. I challenge anyone to a game.

Played a show yesterday at Fort Riley Middle School. OK, well, maybe playing a show would be an exageration but I did get to play bass for four hours with Ms. Witte’s 8th grade classes. They were finishing a unit on the Blues and I provided some background to the lyrics they had written. It was fun and nice to see all the people at FRMS especially Shelbie, Kim, and Leigh. Those poor kids were tricked into thinking I was famous, like Usher famous.

My der-ner-ner-na-na is busted though. Split my finger open playing raquetball. Might have to play with a pick.

I heard the president will be here next week. I wonder if he plays raquetball? I challenge him too.

cg

I finally received confirmation on the Buster’s show for Saturday, as well as for February.

I saw some miles last weekend. I left Manhattan after the auction, bound for Sharon and my new Wildcat radial tires. I then drove to Sublette, missing my turn in Plains and ending up near Liberal before realizing I was too close to Oklahoma. I took some pictures in Sublette and headed for Lenora, fighting a dirt road detour somewhere around Garden City. It’s crazy how many different types of landscape exist in a state known for its homogeneity.

Jim and I hit the bar a little too hard on Friday night, fun though it was. We ended up in a 2:30am, knock-down, drag-out argument over Apple’s new Linux-based OS X. We could argue the merits of software compatibility and system functionality, but for some reason we couldn’t figure out how to inflate the air mattress for me.

We had a good show on Saturday, and I’m told the recording is a technical success, though I haven’t heard any of it yet. It was fun playing with Johnny one last time. I hope he doesn’t sell his kit. He’s a damn good guy and a damn good drummer.

We’ll bring the new band back to Lenora in a few months. I’m itching to play again, but my calendar hangs over my head like a cloud.

Ho, hum.
Hum drum.
Come to Buster’s.
Yum.

It’s my birthday……….I’m 24 f-ing years old. I guess eventually I need to get a real job huh? HELL NO! I’ll be a broke musician for the rest of my life. Wanted to say hello as I have not posted in a while.

Here is a photo of being stupid and getting beat at checkers…………..sort of checkers…I guess? What an idiot. I’ve got a show tonight at the Madhatter in Lawrence………It’s near the corner of 6th street and Vermont street………come see me play and buy me a beer for my birthday! See you there.

I’m out,
MP

18 Cities-18 Parties-18 Winners

Mason, is your band trying out for this? The winners at each city get to play Wakrusa this summer. Might be worth checking into www.battlerusa.com I am not sure the ATB would really "fit in" at Wakarusa but I have never been.

Check out battlerusa in Manhattan 1-23/1-24 at Auntie Mae’s, in Lawrence 1-26/2-9/2-10 at the Bottleneck or various other places in Misery, Iowa, Nebraska, etc.

The news is full of concern lately about the poor ear drums of the IPOD generation. I saw a teenager interviewed that listened to their IPOD 3-4 hours a day at full volume. I have a difficult time figuring out why anyone would ever want to listen to their IPOD at full volume. Half volume is louder than the ATB from the front row. But something about the IPOD generation does bother me.

The most unhealthy aspect of listening to an IPOD in public is the antisocial behavior that goes along with it. I pass people on campus everyday and say "hi" but seldom is that returned. More often than not the person I am passing is hooked up to an MP3 player. The white headphone wires seem to drain common courtesy away from these individuals. They are often looking down or straight-like-a-train-headlight into the distance but never at a passer by. Though I have no study on hearing loss or The Who’s Pete Townsend crying about the potential hearing loss for the IPOD generation, I see more and more people that completely ignore their surrounding situation. It might be awkward to have to say hi to someone but if you are looking away or have your tunes turned way up, you rudeness is justified.

cg